Porn Star Soda (Citrus) Energy drink and Energy shots by Vimgo

Energy shots

 

 

Flavor wise this stuff is REALLY close to the Sex Soda Citrus.  It’s really just a mild lemon/lime soda that is neither overpowering nor bland…it’s actually just about right.  There is a hint of sweet and sour in it that is really well balanced without ever going overboard in one direction.  Think a mild lemonade, add a hint of lime and there you go.  I actually really enjoy this stuff which to be honest surprised me.  Typically when folks go with novelty bottling the product is usually lacking…not so here.  What you get is a pretty refreshing drink that you would probably be afraid to take home to mom.  Yes, as with all Porn Star Sodas you get your daily dosage of caffeine AND porn all in one little package.  My bottle contained a pic of Catalina “a self proclaimed super slut.  Weighing only 90 lbs. and standing 5’3” with a tight 34B-23-34 figure this little nymphomaniac really loves hardcore sex.  Catalina grew up in a California coastal town and got into porn early on.  She loves nasty sex and will do just about anything in her movies.”  See folks…not only do I report on the world of caffeine goodness, but I also educate you on people…bringing the world together for the betterment of mankind….one naked chick at a time.

 

Power wise, this stuff is fairly weak.  It’s got caffeine in it, but it’s probably about as much as any of your stronger caffeinated sodas out there.  Still, you’re probably getting this more for the naked chicks than the caffeine boost….it’s a win-win situation I suppose.

 

Spark Grape Energy drink

 

If you have read my previous review of Sparc Citrus you will understand why I was so slow at tearing into the next flavor in this product line.  While there is no doubting that this stuff works like mad, the flavor was not exactly up to par with the other energy drinks out there.  When it comes right down to it, that’s probably not such a big deal considering that this stuff is probably far better for you, and most of the folks drinking it are used to ingesting far worse.  Still, I found myself becoming a bit nervous as it drew closer to the point of no return.

 

First off, DO NOT SMELL THIS STUFF!  In powder form, or mixed form this stuff just ain’t right.  While the smell is fare worse before mixing with water, the smell afterwards is enough to really make me doubt whether or not the extra energy is really worth it.  As bad as it is however, it is still an improvement over the citrus Sparc.  Taste wise is much the same.  Grape is a bit more palatable than Citrus, but that by no means makes it good…..after smelling and drinking the citrus Sparc, a glass of BBQ’d pureed house cat would have been inviting….hell, I bet the crap in the bottom of my glass would have even had a similar consistency.  Grape is a bit more sweet, and a bit more fruity….I know it’s grape, but there is something different about it.  I think the best way to describe it would be to take grape juice, remove all the sugar, and then sweeten it with the foulest artificial sweetener you can findEnergy shots and maybe throw in a couple of crushed multivitamins for good measure (and I don’t mean Flintstones chewables either…oh no, definitely the nasty grown up ones.)

 

Power wise this stuff is right there with the Sparc Citrus…..it’s strong…really strong….strong enough that I can just about overlook the taste, smell, and crap floating at the bottom of my glass.  Definitely a good workout drink, or pre exercise drink…..I really wish I would have had some of this back in my soccer days.

 

Now I have not tried this yet, but I have heard that mixing it with grape juice really takes the edge off the flavor…and I’m willing to bet that is a pretty solid way to go.  Screw the water…you get to much of the drinks flavor that way….mix this stuff with a glass of grape juice and I’m willing to bet that it will be pretty damn solid overall.  I wish I had known about that before I knocked back that glass of citrus…..

 

Pretty soon I’ll be tearing into the last flavor I have to try in the Sparc line…Cherry.  Wish me luck.